Today is the birthday of Ganesh (at the time of writing this), the remover of obstacles in our lives and these last few days have had a dramatic effect on my life. On Tuesday I had my first ever Tantra Massage. I was ridiculously nervous (yes I am human!!), I had no idea what to expect, what I was getting myself into and I also had no preconceived ideas about what it was, as I have never studied Tantra and I had concluded by myself that it is the deepening of intimacy with God or all that is.
I do know that the questionnaire was lengthy and there were questions on there I had never even asked myself! What a chance to discover how I really felt about so many aspects of my life and also a chance to see what changes I had already made! Some of the questions made me feel a little sad especially regarding my relationship experiences, but it all helped to highlight whats important to me now and the ways in which I choose to move forward. I felt good about the fact I had stopped smoking over 14 years ago now and that I gave up drinking over 2 years ago (I drunk a lot of brandy at my Dads funeral, but since that day I haven't had a drop). I felt great about the fact I tried drugs and was sensible enough to give them up when I realised they were never going to get me to that place of Peace only I could do that! I made a promise to myself to give myself all of those things that I have previously denied myself in one way or another. The Ego is so clever at manipulating us into believing certain things about what is really possible!
This deepening aspect of Tantra of course includes all aspects of life, nature, the body, relationships and of course sex and our relationship with all of these!
Tantra Massage is an intimate process, so getting naked in front of a stranger and actually a strange man was a pretty weird thing for me to be doing on a Tuesday afternoon. It felt a little challenging and there was all sorts of resistance that came up before the session and a little still remained through it. I however remained brave, if you want to call it that and surrendered as much of myself to the process as possible. I can see that it has deeply connected me to my body, my sexuality even more so, my Goddess nature and also brought a greater awareness to what my body needs and how I can better take care of it. Tantra really is about getting naked in all senses of the word, its about stripping away some more of those hidden beliefs around intimacy, sex, relationships and learning to express whats within you with out holding anything back. Its about being honest with your Self your feelings, your wants and needs and to honour those as you honour the universe for bringing you here. Tantra is seeing the beauty in all the parts of you spiritually, emotionally and physically. If you have body issues it can help you to heal those. I have a scar from when I was given an emergency caesarean and I was cut so close to my second chakra, though the Tantra massage I was able to understand more about how this had affected my life and reclaim this part of my body bringing my Self a bit more into wholeness. I was also able to breath all the stuck energy out and breath healing love, light and wisdom back into that space so that chakra could serve me as it is meant to!
We only have one body and who knows whats going to happen, so making conscious health choices in this moment is vital. I am aiming to at least become vegetarian now and this experience is certainly confirming why I need to make the changes, not because its cool or hip or to do with diet or allergies, but because we are One and that includes every living being, every one here no matter what their form.
We are all connected and the only way to stop feeding the fear, anger and hate in the world is by finding ways to stop creating it. We are the creators and what has come up many times in conversations over the last few days is that we can choose to create something new here and now! A Utopia, thats what I see thats what drives me.
What we must do is look at where our money goes, who are we funding who are we allowing to create on our behalf? Every thing we do has an effect on this world....every thing and choose to get more intimate with life, it will show you things you never saw before...in this vast unfolding mystery.
Infinite Love Dhyan ❤️
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