Tantra, most people think it is Sex. Well that's certainly a part of it, like your foot is a part of your body. Lets face it Sex is a part of life, a part of this experience in the physical body. I may be "spiritual", but that doesnt make me want to become a nun. Oh no, actually it encourages me to explore the depths of what This is. By This I mean life, this experience, this beautifully constructed illusion that we are all playing in. It is like some cosmic conscious game. We wander around aimlessly with our eyes closed sometimes for years, until boom!!
No-thing will ever be the same again as our eyes are opened to the truth of this experience and the ridiculousness of it all. Just because you know the game though, it does not mean you want to stop playing. The trick is to remember the game, to remember the play and the illusion.
Part of this play is the depths of interaction we can experience with others. You know the more you get to know your Self the deeper you can go into relationship with another. The deeper you go into this relationship, the more you discover there truly are no others, but there is an appearance of them! It is all very convincing at times, but we must remember " the cosmic joke." No-thing ever happened and no thing ever will, except in our mind! This world is a thought based universe, so if that's the case why aren't we all getting what we want?
Life is complete and utter divine intelligence of the highest order and often what we want, is not what we really need. I have been single now for, wait for it something like nearly 12 years. Yes really, I know hard to believe isn't it. Sometimes there is something about this thought built and time based universe that is incredibly convincing. Now after 12 years, not so many dates, a lot of disfunction and a whole host of "spiritual" experiences, this does not make me your "average" women. There is no-thing about me that is average. I don't behave, think, act, look like, speak like or carry out my life like a lot of people I know. This could give you a complex if you get into it with the mind. I am free and I know it.
I am deep like the ocean, the only conversations I want to have are the ones that are based in truth. The ones that are vulnerable, honest, in integrity and real to the core. Why would I bother with anything else?
The kind of man that I am calling out for, that excites me, all in divine timing of course, is one who is in his divine masculine and can hold space for the divine feminine power that oozes out of every pore on this star dust built body. My requirements, yes I have those now too are totally above and beyond what I use to believe would satisfy me. The union I want is one that is built on divine love, the kind you find God in. The kind of union, holy relationship that moves the universe, that shifts the oceans and mountains to birth something entirely beautiful. The kind of union that lifts the vibration of the entire planet. Why would I restrict myself to anything less, knowing I am the Goddess?
The power is in our hands, do we settle or do we wait? Do we compromise? Life is not about settling for something we don't want because the idea seems nice!
On Saturday I went on a date, I questioned what I was doing and even if there was any point! My nerves kicked in and all the usual human responses to new situations and often to new people.
It seems to be a rare thing for me to be fully met by a man. I know I am " not like everyone else " my sons words. I had a beautiful day, I opened up. I am not scared to open my heart, soul, mind to another. I am practicing being fully present to whatever is arising in the moment. This is Tantra, to be present to this! All of it, however it manifests. Tears flowed this morning as the realisation that yet another man can not meet me here. I am with God, he's got to be able to come home to reach me.
Sunday I did not go to yoga. I found myself driving of into the distance to go on an all day Tantra workshop. This was nerve wrecking, exciting, challenging, testing, inspiring and a little crazy.
I did not know anybody there, usually wherever I go I know someone. The Tantra workshop was a bit like lifting the lid off a box filled with possibilities. Thats what happened in any moment there were obviously billions of possibilities. I found myself sharing intimate space, I witnessed my judgements come up as I worked with people I wouldn't normally choose. I noticed my shallowness around attraction. I noticed my ability to create firm boundaries and to move them as I pleased. I noticed that in many relationship situations I have not taken what I wanted and needed. I have been giving and thinking about what the other person might want, without even asking them! I touched, I explored, I expanded and I fell into a deep deep place of peace and silence within. My mind was blown again and this time its created something even more beautiful, even more profound. I feel a deep level of intimacy with life. Both of these things were a challenge for all kinds of conditioning and mental based boundaries, both tested some very basic and fundamental things about this experience.
I found my Self once again totally out of my comfort zone and in the beautiful space of no mind and trust.
Infinite Love Dhyan ❤️
Insights from a Tantra Workshop
